reading the heading of this post i thought ‘god this blog journey haven’t even started properly yet and already i feel like it is the most self-centred blog ever written’. but i actually don’t want it to be about me. the person me. i want it to be about self-development. the journey of someone who is trying to find it’s spot in this world. about experiences someone makes and another might feel similar about. so what else am i left with then making it about me? my thoughts. my feelings. my experiences. how would i know about someone else’s thoughts. feelings. experiences. i wouldn’t. i could try to judge a situation from the outside but it would always be from my point of view. so i’ll make it about myself and hopefully someone will feel similar and find some sort of reassurance in it. that’s what i have missed many times reading through post of others. some sort of connection. something that would make me feel like i’m not alone with certain feelings. hopes. anxieties.
back to the topic, shall we?
i decided that i wanted to participate in a triathlon. just for myself. it is not to prove anybody but myself that i can do it. that i can pull through. so far i’ve started many things and never seemed to pull through. i started many diaries i’ve only written in a few pages. i started cooking through an entire cookbook for fun. i started learning Spanish with an audiobook. nothing did i ever complete. finish. pull through.
not this time. i will do it! the other day i told a friend about my idea. i told him i had found a training schedule that seemed easy enough to follow. even for someone who works a lot and irregularly. i was keen. i was gonna do it. so he asked ‘so when will you start?’ and i went ‘well i haven’t found a triathlon event yet. and i need a better bicycle first. my mountain bike won’t do it…’ blah blah blah. I went on and on. and some point he stopped me and said something that made sense. ‘don’t think. just do’ pretty simple, huh?
he was right. i already started finding excuses why i couldn’t get started. so that evening i went home, took my running shoes out and just did. i went for a run. and ticked off my first training session of my 13 weeks training schedule.
that’s been three weeks ago. i didn’t manage to follow through with every training session so far. but i think that doesn’t matter. i think that’s ok. it’s part of not thinking and just doing. in the meantime i started working on the details that kept me from getting started in the first place. i found an event. it’s a small triathlon for beginners. with the option to do a bigger one – still small but bigger – a week afterwards. the first event – my first triathlon – will be on September 17th 2017. 336m swim. 11.5km cycle. 3.5km run. some people might say it’s not a triathlon. but this is just for myself.
no thinking. just doing!